Teen Columnist Proves Existence of God!

Everyone can stop debating this bullshit. Yes, there is a God. Teen columnist for the Tucson Citizen Jessica Mendibles proved it. "God exists," Jessica writes in the opinion section of Tuesday's paper.

Not convinced? Well, she'll fucking prove it again for you. Goddamn heathens...

"My answer to those who question the presence of God is: Yes, God is real..."

She refutes evolution as well. And no, she doesn't have any fucking evidence. She doesn't need any. It's about faith, dummy.

Why was more than 500 words devoted to this in a supposedly unbiased paper in a mostly liberal city? I have no idea.

Please comment on this column over at the Citizen website. If not because you're appalled that this was printed, then because Mendibles is such an incredible last name. Just say it. Mendibles. Ha. Rolls of the tongue.