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2010 Best Moments in Song

2011-01-06T12:23:00.000-08:00

2010 Song of the Year

Free Energy - "Free Energy" (0:00 - 0:30)

"Making out with the wind" might be the lyric of the year (this is 1978, right?), and does a nice job of quickly summing up Free Energy on their titular song.

LCD Soundsystem - "Dance Yrslf Clean" (3:07 - 3:08)

I assume James Murphy mixed the beginning of this song especially low so when these drums finally kick in, you'd wake the fuck up. Mission accomplished.

Fang Island - "Sideswiper" (2:19 - 2:28)

If there's ever a Megaman movie, these guys should do the score.

Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - "Bottled in Cork" (0:24 - 0:31)

After opening with 20 seconds of straight ahead punk rock, out of nowhere, Ted Leo drops into one of his classic pop grooves.

Yeasayer - "ONE" (0:49 - 0:58)

The best pre-chorus to chorus anticipation of the year. You just wait and wait for that drum to kick in so you can start drunk dancing like a maniac.

Ariel Pink - "Round and Round" (1:58 - 2:13)

Catchy!

SALEM - "King Night" (1:21 - 1:39)

I don't know whether I'm on board with witch house, but embedding a sample of my favorite Christmas melody in this chorus certainly peaked my interest.

Nana Grizol - "Cynicism" (0:56 - 1:03)

I'm a sucker for a cheesy line sung by a nasally folk singer.

Joanna Newsom - "Baby Birch" (6:45 - 6:51)

Some songs on Newsom's Have One on Me show too much restraint, but "Baby Birch" executes the slow build so perfectly that this small uptick in energy (backing vocals) and instrumentation (drums) makes this moment feel like the anthem of the year.

Kanye West - "Monster" (4:03 - 4:54)

Combine the schizo, the over-the-top inflections on "sign it" and "climate" and the scream of "monster" at the end, and you get a perfect verse from Nicki Minaj. Oh, I also like the stereo Left/Right flip-flopping.

Titus Andronicus - "Four Score and Seven" (7:43 - 8:08)

As a whole, this record is my favorite of the year. This is also 15-year-old me's favorite record of the year.

2009 Best Moments in Song

2010-01-23T15:13:00.001-08:00

Well, here we are again. Later than ever. The last week of January? I was traveling, and you were sick of lists anyway. Now you've gone all of three weeks without reading a list and I pop in to satisfy your withdrawal.

These are my favorite moments (read: best) in song from the year of 2009, a really great year for music. As always, these don't necessarily come from my favorite albums or favorite songs, but just something that grabbed me, an instant or a riff or a bridge or a chorus, an intro or an outro. The moments that make you rewind (read: click, scroll counter-clockwise, click again) to catch another brief glimpse of sonic perfection. Or imperfection.

The following is not in any ranked order, but the order in which they appear in the mash-up track, which you should download here. And all the tracks are collected here.

Cymbals Eat Guitars - "And the Hazy Sea", 00:00-00:12, Why There Are Mountains

The best intro of the year and quite a way to kick off your debut album. "Wake the fuck up kids. We're here and we're new. I mean, we're familiar, too. Don't be too scared. We'll definitely quiet down after this bit."

Dan Deacon - "Of the Mountains", 02:40-02:47, Bromst

I ruin a lot of tracks for myself by choosing to edit videos to them. I did that with this song on the 2010 Trollbäck Montage.

Destroyer - "Bay of Pigs", 01:47-01:52, Bay of Pigs EP

Dan Bejar dropped a 14-minute track on his two-song EP this year, and it's fantastic. This is the first line after a minute and a half of outer space ambience. Maybe it's over the top, but prefacing a song with, "Listen, I've been drinking," sounds earnest coming from Dan Bejar.

Mountain Goats - "1 John 4:16", 02:20-02:27, Life of the World to Come

I say basically the same thing about John Darnielle every year. A total badass and a total pussy, all wrapped up into a perfect human being. This is the reprise of this line in the track, but it's 10-15% better than the first reading.

Animal Collective - "In the Flowers", 02:26-03:07, Merriweather Post-Pavillion

Probably the best moment in any song this year, when it kicks in I knew I was being swept away on some sort of twisted pop mind-fuck of a ride. And I ended up taking the same ride every morning into Manhattan for three cold months.

Cass McCombs - "You Saved My Life", 01:07-01:26, Catacombs

Jasper and Adam always talk about the time-signature in this song, and how strange it is. "7/4"? "But then it switches"? I just think it's catchy!

Grizzly Bear - "Fine for Now", 04:56-05:09, Veckatimest

"Two Weeks" is great. "While You Wait for the Others" is my favorite. But this moment single-handedly saves the album. Lush can only last so long before it becomes a snoozer. Sometimes you gotta play big guitar riffs. I don't think that Ed Droste believes this, but Dan Rossen know what's up.

Why? - "Into the Shadows of My Embrace", 02:26-02:40, Eskimo Snow

Yoni Wolf delivers a classic monologue on getting caught masturbating by neighbors and kissing his therapist before basically bringing the song to a screeching halt here, a brief pause before busting into a catchy bridge. It's the scream. It's the kick drum right at the end that announces the tempo will be turning up a notch.

Clues - "Ledmonton", 03:26-03:36, Clues

The Clues album is basically the soft-loud dynamic album of the year. It's filled with equal parts whispers and smashes. This is the best smash.

Jay-Z - "Run This Town", 03:05-03:08, The Blueprint 3

Kanye gets the dopest verse on the entire album, and it's unfortunate that I have to list the artist as Jay-Z. This line cracks me up, as does "Have you ever worn shoes without shoestrings?"

Dirty Projectors - "Useful Chamber", 02:42-02:54, Bitte Orca

These are the best Dirty Projectors lyrics!

Julian Casablancas - "11th Dimension", 01:25-01:42, Phrazes for the Young

Best Strokes chorus since Room on Fire.

Sleigh Bells - "Crown on the Ground", 00:23-00:34, Unreleased

This is some dirty, dirty Brooklyn shit.

North Highlands - "Collar Bones", 03:44-03:50, Sugar Lips EP

This is some clean, clean Brooklyn shit. (I know the drummer!)

Bill Callahan - "Too Many Birds", 03:11-04:26, Sometimes I Wish We Were an Eagle

"Let's just pause for a moment to consider the ongoing magnitude of Bill Callahan's accomplishment. Someday you will brag that you were around when stuff this good was being written." - John Darnielle on "Too Many Birds"

Kid Cudi - "Day N Nite", 00:15-00:16, Man on the Moon

Whoa, whoa.

Phoenix - "Love Like a Sunset, pt. 2", 00:32-01:24, Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix

I had my Wolfgang tracklist ordered incorrectly, so Jasper and I would talk a lot about how this was such a perfect way to end a record; what with the dramatic, sweeping guitar strums. (So fun for air guitaring!) And then I found out it was supposed to be smack dab in the middle. But, it should be at the end, and I'll keep my album ordered the way it was. Once you create art, don't tell me how to interpret it, you pretentious French pop douchebags.

2008 Best Moments in Song

2008-12-30T11:15:00.000-08:00

For the fourth year in a row, I've gotten more specific than any other publication, narrowing down the best musical moments of the year to chords, lyrics, melodies and drum fills.

Together, they make the Best Song of 2008. Suck one, Girl Talk. Zipped Originals.

Human Highway - "The Sound", 0:00 - 0:28
Islands - "The Arm", 0:35 - 0:54

Nick Thorburn (Islands, Human Highway, formerly Unicorns) was certainly productive this year, but perhaps that was to his bands' detriment. Ultimately, the HH and Islands' albums turned out mediocre, but had exciting starts with these opening tracks. "The Sound" is immediate, infectious pop. Starting with lonely palm muted guitars and hand claps, then filling in voice, and, finally, kicking in a groove. "The Arm" opens with atmosphere, before the scream lets the guitar line out of its cage, along with some perfect violin callbacks. (FunNote: this riff makes a neat ring tone!)

Why? - "The Hollows", 1:48 - 2:10

It was difficult to find just one moment from my favorite album of 2008, Alopecia, to highlight, but these lyrics pretty much sum up what Why? is all about. Yoni Wolf does not write in generalities. He's sarcastic, he's got a great band behind him and, even though this is hip-hop, he always puts melody first.

The Gaslight Anthem - "The '59 Sound", 2:28 - 2:38

This isn't my favorite Gaslight Anthem song off their great album of the same name. But it marked a comeback in my musical life ...when I decided that I could start listening to punk music again. Because it's fun. Because it's big and loud. Because it doesn't make me think too much.

TV on the Radio - "DLZ", 2:22 - 2:44

So much 'tude. So much cool. How rad would it be to take a class from this "Death Professor" fellow???

Marnie Stern - "The Crippled Jazzer", 0:00 - 0:29

The coolest guitar playing of the year is all over Marnie Stern's album, but this is my favorite bit. The tapping freakout is great, but when she shifts into that anthemic riff (with drum help from Hella's Zach Hill), I feel like I could wrestle a bear.

The Mountain Goats - "Lovecraft in Brooklyn", 2:15 - 2:28

Whenever John Darnielle wants to really belt it out, I will be there. Whenever John Darnielle wants to show that he is completely vulnerable and a total badass in one line, I will be there.

Bonnie "Prince" Billy - "You Want that Picture", 0:53 - 1:11

To not use Will Oldham's voice as my best moment from Lie in the Light could be a controversial move if anyone actually wanted to argue about this list with me. But, no one will. I like the idea that relationship problems are temporary, and everything will be "alright" when you perish.

Fleet Foxes - "Your Protector", 0:54 - 1:15

This movement always transports me directly to a magical forest, and, yes, I am on mushrooms.

Weezer - "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived", 3:33 - 4:06

You could write a thesis paper on the failure of this song and the 10 disparate sections that lack any cohesion whatsoever, but that doesn't mean this melody isn't Weezer's most Weezer in 10 years. For that, I love it. And then right after this part, it's back to the suck. Rivers decides to inflict another spoken-word monologue on the follies of fame. Choice line: "Someone once said, 'All the world's a stage.'" Yeah, Riv. Someone totally did said that.

Native Korean Rock - "OOO", 0:03 - 0:36

Karen O sounds so fucking sexy here it's unreal.

Les Phoques - "Zenith", 4:24 - 4:58

Friend and songwriter Ben Turner finds just the right words. I can't think of a phrase that better reflects seriously crushing on someone than, "let's find a bar or let's find that dance floor," while "gyrate" and "freak" become the sweetest, most heartfelt verbs in the English language.

Mt. Eerie - "A Sentimental Song", 1:43 - 2:05

Using artist David Shrigley's words as lyrics, Phil Elverum finds the right balance between silly and somber. I, for one, trust the tone.

Air France - "Collapsing at Your Doorstep", 3:53 - 4:34

The best outro of the year samples voices from old children's television shows. "Sorta like a dream, isn't it?"

2007 List
2006 List
2005 List

Karen OMFG!

2008-07-22T11:58:00.000-07:00

Took in a show Monday night from Native Korean Rock and the Fishnets, the recently announced side-project from Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Billed as "a body of love songs written over the last two years," the "short and sweet" (Ms. O's words, but I concur) set was beautiful, both musically and aesthetically. While the stage and players were decked out nautically, the music was sincere, delicate folk songs - at times sing-song and simple, at others startlingly avant-garde.

Several times during the set I felt like I was experiencing something unique and magical, as Karen's Cheshire Cat smile exposed that she was simultaneously nervous and overjoyed about wearing these songs on her sleeve for the first time.

I hope she found the reception warm enough to continue this project of hers, and perform again very soon. At the most, Native Korean Rock will be a huge success, on par with (or surpassing) Cat Power, Feist and Joanna Newsom in the current crop of great female singer-songwriters. At the very least, it was an announcement for me that Karen O had a lot more talent and, dare I say, heart than I had ever given her credit for.

Native Korean Rock - OOO

Here's a couple decent YouTube vids from the show:

And, bizarrely, here is a cover of a Native Korean Rock song that was recorded last November:

The Superest Tuesday Ever!

2008-02-05T10:18:00.001-08:00

NEW YORK, NY - Calling him a "beacon of hope", "the only candidate who is looking to make real changes" and a "relief of our collective white guilt", the influential pop-culture blog Scattershot has endorsed Democratic nominee Barack Obama for President.

Scattershot had also met with fellow Presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton in the last week but thought she seemed "too willing to bend her ideas for mass appeal", "a poor general election candidate against John McCain" and "a little dike-y."

Get out and vote friends!

Joanna Newsom at BAM - Concert Review

2008-02-01T12:08:00.001-08:00

With the drama endured, and my own tickets ensured, it was finally time to take in a show: the first night of Joanna Newsom's two-night stint at the Brooklyn Academy of Music, accompanied by the Brooklyn Philharmonic Orchestra.

I arrived to find that my tickets in the third row of the Orchestra were indeed fantastic, but, since they were stage left, offered a less than full view of Newsom on her enormous harp. Leaning to the right, practically on the shoulder of my neighbor, I had a 3/4 view of her face. Luckily, there were plenty of other people to watch.

An orchestra of 30 or so sat behind her, and two smartly dressed chaps sat to her left and right, close to the front of the stage. One switched between banjo and something similar to a mandolin, the other handled drums and backup vocals.

The first Act of the night was Ys in order, in its entirety. "Emily" has never sounded better, and toward the climax of the song I found myself smiling broadly, audibly gasping, as delirious as a child on Christmas morning (0r a Jewish kid on the first night of Yom Kippur).

"Monkey and Bear" was catchy as all-hell. "Sawdust and Diamonds", performed solo and showcasing Newsom's deft digits, was perfect, although it was rather odd to see the entire orchestra sitting on their hands for 10 minutes.

"Only Skin" and "Cosmia" are my two favorite tracks off Ys, and, of course, they didn't disappoint with such a force lifting them up. "Only Skin" will never sound as good without Bill Callahan's dark baritone backing the climax, but the live drums certainly add a tremendous bass. "Cosmia" didn't hit move into its sharp chorus as gracefully and cleanly as it does on the album, but it was still a beautiful closing to the first half, with added instrumentation making it that more intricate.

Completely blown away, I needed fresh air. As I walked out, I spotted a row of SNL members that included Andy Samberg, Amy Poehler and Seth Myers.

The second half was more casual, more fun and equally stupefying. Full band versions of "The Book of Right On", "Clam, Crab, Cockle, Cowrie" and "Peach, Plum, Pear" were highlights, but the relatively new "Colleen" was the standout track. Also a standout? Newsom's outrageously short pink dress that made her look like some kind of angelic gypsy Barbie. There was also an awkward 3-minute Obama endorsement disguised as band banter that didn't seem to sway much of the audience. (Perhaps Park Slope is Clinton country?)

The second-standing ovation of the night drew Newsom and friend Kevin Barker for a short encore that didn't fully pacify me, but it would be greedy to ask for more than she had already given me during the evening.

In short, this was the best musical performance I have ever seen. The venue, the seats, the orchestra, the artist. My friend Derekh, who accompanied me to the concert, called it "transcendent." That's about right.

Photo courtesy of Kyle Dean Reinford, who I found on Flickr

Overread and Understood #2

2008-01-30T12:21:00.000-08:00

Book: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Train: L

Spot: Between Lorimer and Union Square

Time: 2:00 p.m.

(Spoilers ahead, obviously)

I couldn't believe my luck. I had sat down right next to a man who was not only reading my 2nd favorite Harry Potter book, but reading the last few foreboding, bad-ass pages of it. And he was holding the book pretty low, meaning I could read it without being caught.

As I looked down at the jacket-less novel (was he embarrassed to be reading this?), I could recall running the full spectrum of emotion in these final pages, knowing I would have to wait at least two years before I would read any new HP.

Harry plays the hero and lets his dame (Ginny) know that it's about to get down-right dangerous up in here, and he can't risk her life in the same way he risks his own. Plus, Ginny was getting a bit too "clingy" for his freewheelin' ways, and maybe he wants to dip his wand in a few more cauldrons before settling down.

In a chapter called "The White Tomb", things are obviously going to get a little sad, though. And I knew the exact passage that did it for me, the one that might make me tear up right now in this train full of hipsters.

Scrimgeour takes Harry aside and asks for his help again. The Ministry needs him, he says. Harry doesn't have to consider. He repeats his earlier declaration of loyalty for his fallen teacher, that he's "Dumbledore's man, through and through."

The book owner, in his late 20s, reaches up to briefly wipe his eye. Is it an itch? Is breaking down and balling in the subway not an option for this man's man? Is he trying to be brave like Harry?

We finished the book and he closed it. I wanted to speak to him and find out where he stands on Snape. Find out where he stands on everything.

But, alas, this was my stop and I was already three hours late to work.

Overread and Understood - Literature Reviews from the NYC Subway #1

2008-01-22T15:45:00.000-08:00

This is the first in an ongoing series where I will read what other people are reading on the subway and then write up a short review based on my assumptions.

Book: Las Cincos Personas Que Encontras En El Cielo/The Five People You Meet in Heaven (Spanish Language) by Mitch Albom

Train: F

Spot: Between 50th and 57th St.

Time: 7:30 PM

My grip on the Spanish language is loosening by the day. I took four years of advanced Spanish in high school and a semester in college, so right after that I thought I could hold my own. I wasn’t very comfortable with native speakers, but I had a decent vocabulary and could conjugate verbs like no one’s business. And my choice of “Por” or “Para” was also spot on.

Since that last college course, I’ve used Spanish only sparingly, usually in desperate Mexican food ordering situations. Coincidentally, my Spanish has steadily deteriorated at the same time.

But I can still read it well enough to get by, or so I thought.

I sat down next to the plump woman and casually glanced over her shoulder. The train was crowded on a Friday night. Although I didn’t see the the cover, I saw the name Mitch Albom at the top of the page and the Spanish language title on the opposite page. If I didn't understand the title immediately, the Albom name helped me along. I thought about how this text was definitely bullshit in any language and wished she were reading something better.

I didn’t understand as much as I thought I would. My Spanish desperately needs a refresher course. Or maybe I was just nervous since this was my first Overread, and I was glancing more than concentrating on reading.

I did pick up on a character named “Eddie"; apparently, the names are all still in English. I thought about how easy it would have been to change it to “Eduardo,” and found this choice discouraging, if not offensive. Are the publishers claiming Christianity for the white man? Or is Albom such a man of artistic principle that he could not bear to change his original vision of the “Eddie” character?

After a half-page of gibberish, the woman started waving the book around like a fan and making eyes in my general direction. Good thing it was time to get off the train.

Gladiators Ready!

2008-01-18T10:45:00.000-08:00

A little over a week ago I put two tickets to a Joanna Newsom show up for sale on Craigslist. I wanted to go to the show, but couldn't believe how much people were willing to pay for the tickets. Mine were in the middle of the 2nd Row, the best I had seen available, and I couldn't pass up such a payoff on my $55 a ticket investment.

I put up an ad (Exhibit A, below) asking $500, or best offer. I ended up getting $450 on Tuesday. The real fun came Thursday morning though, when an irate email (Exhibit B) showed up in my inbox. Since I, by nature, cannot blindly accept criticism of my person, an email battle followed.

Exhibit A:

Joanna Newsom at BAM - Row 2 Orchestra, 2 Tickets - $500

Reply to: sale-XXXXXX@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-11, 4:32PM EST

I have two tickets I'm thinking about getting rid of for the Joanna Newsom show at Brooklyn Academy of Music on Feb. 1. The tickets are together in the middle of row BB, which is the second row. You will be unbelievably close.

$500 and they're yours, or you can make a different offer and they might be yours. Thanks.

Exhibit B:

From: Christopher R. (XXXXX@alum.Dartmouth.ORG)
Sent: Thu 1/17/08 8:38 AM
To: sale-XXXXXXX@craigslist.org

Unreal that you are trying to sell Joanna Newsom tickets for 500 bucks. How greedy are you? Why would you take such an absurd profit? Really cool, really in the spirit of appreciating art...

Exhibit C:

From: Nate Buchik
Sent: 1/17/08 10:22 AM
To: Christopher R.

Don't judge me. I really don't need to explain myself, because it's not my fault that people are willing to pay this much or more for these tickets, but I'm selling them because I need to pay rent in February. I wanted to go to the show, but the tickets aren't worth 500 bucks to me. They were to someone else. Sold.

If these were Paul McCartney tickets or tickets to the Super Bowl, you wouldn't care.

"Tickets? Anyone need tickets?"

Nate

Exhibit D:

From: Christopher R.
Sent: Thu 1/17/08 3:28 PM
To: Nate Buchik

But you don't get it.

People arent "willing to pay this" they are forced to by people like you. You buy tickets, then realize that people who really want to go will do whatever it takes to see them. Imagine if everyone were like you. We'd be in pretty bad shape. There are other ways to get money for rent. Dont you agree that its wrong? Its fine if you dont care, just admit that its not a good thing to do - for the artist, fans, or general attitude towards events like this.

Exhibit E:

From: Nate Buchik
Sent: Thu 1/17/08 4:57 PM
To: Christopher R.

I misspoke when I said people were "willing to pay this." I should have explained the tickets are "worth this." And the reason the tickets are worth so much is the proximity to the stage. You see, there's a high "demand" to be close to the stage, and the "supply" of tickets in the first few rows is low. Have you taken Economics? What do they teach at Dartmouth these days? Only Marxist Economics?

If I were to choose to sell the tickets at normal price, how would I decide who to sell them to? Ask people to prove who "deserves" them and "loves" Joanna the most? Please. ("Puleeeeazz") In fact, I had more than 20 people asking to buy them for $300.

I'll try to explain this in a less conceptual way. People are absurdly rich around these parts and they don't like to wake up early (10 a.m.) to buy tickets. But they don't mind paying someone else to do it. It's sort of like I'm their humble servant. And yes, they pay me a decent wage. Remember, there are plenty of tickets available at lower prices for worse seats. Some people are just desperate to be close. To have the "best" seats. Maybe they're the biggest fans or maybe they're just wealthy and feel entitled to the best and like to prove it with money. Who knows?

"If everyone was like me we'd be in pretty bad shape"? That's pretty harsh, man. I'm a really nice dude. As for whether this is a bad thing to do for "the artist, fans, or general attitude", I would say that a fan who really wanted to see the artist can now go to the show. Good for both parties. General attitude? Obviously, you're upset, but I'm super happy so it evens out.

I'm sorry I couldn't give you the tickets, Chris. But there is good news. I bought four more tickets up super close to the second show that was added, and I'm going to sell two of them and keep two for me and a friend. Feel free to shoot me an offer. Or maybe we can become friends and I'll take you! But I'd like an apology first.

Nate

Exhibit F:

From: Christopher R.
Sent: Fri 1/18/08 6:22 AM
To: Nate Buchik

Hey, yea I agree with you on a lot of points. And sorry for coming off harsh, I think I was just pissed that scalping exists in the first place. I understand that its simple supply and demand, and you may have even gotten more. But thats just the reason I was pissed in the first place. Its because at that point its kind of unfair. "Regular" people cant afford them at that point. What if the artist started charging more. She would lose some fans, but people would still go.

Anyways, I apologize for coming off harsh, didnt mean to be an asshole. Just shocked when I saw the 500 bucks. Thanks for the offer, but I actually got 2 tickets for thursday nights show.

Its an interesting discussion though I think.

Have a good one,

Chris

Exhibit G:

From: Nate Buchik
Sent: Fri 1/18/08 2:22 PM
To: Christopher R.

It's certainly an interesting discussion. I don't intend to make it a habit of profiting on the artistic abilities of others. Especially ones I respect as much as Joanna. I understand the frustration of ticket prices getting out of hand, but I just couldn't afford to keep something so valuable.

Thanks for the apology, I'll buy you a beer after the show with my newfound wealth.

Nate

Pumped-Up Artists

2008-01-14T11:51:00.000-08:00

As I sat chomping a bowl of Frosted Mini Spooners and making the morning Web stops, my world came crashing down.

We've known that the NBA has referees for sale. Baseball is forever tainted. Even tennis is no longer pure, with Martina Hingis getting busted for cocaine.

But this? This headline was too much for even jaded ol' Nate to handle.

Extra! Extra!

"Report: Entertainers in Steroid Report"

Yes, it's funny that "Report' is used twice in the headline, but let's get past that. The real meat of this story is that Mary J. Blige, Wyclef Jean, 50 Cent, Timbaland and Tyler Perry may have received and used "performance-enhancing" drugs.

Take a second to let that sink in. "In Da Club" still feel legitimate to you?

If Timbaland's involved, does that mean we have to wonder about JT? Are we going to have to put an asterisk next to the Number 1 ranking for "My Love" on Pitchfork Media's Top 100 Tracks of 2006?

Can we laugh at Perry's "Madea" anymore, with the chance that his portrayal of a fat old woman was only convincing because he'd been popping estrogen?

And as for 50 Cent? It's refreshing to know that Kanye's name has never been associated with any of this junk, and he can still outsell 50 any day of the week.

Obviously Blige being a 'roider comes as no surprise, even though she's denied the allegations in song, but Wyclef always seemed like an honest guy.

In times like these, it's best to take a step back and remember there are good and honest celebrity entertainers out there. Apparently, the white ones. But more and more singers, dancers, comedy actors, film directors and socialites are bound to be named in this ongoing scandal.

There have already been whispers about Soulja Boy's "super-soaking" of Hos being tainted.

Damn, I have like 100 more jokes but this has to end some time.

2007's Best Moments in Song

2008-01-06T15:57:00.000-08:00

Slightly more specific than other lists, but probably not all that different, here is my list of the 11 Best Moments in Song for the Year 2007.

Download the Best Song of 2007 and have a read.

The National - "Fake Empire", 0:00-0:31
I love the way the feedback meanders for a few seconds at the very top, seemingly searching for the right chords. Then, piano gallops in so confidently. Then, Matt Berninger, his voice deep as hell, throws out a couple lines about going out and getting wasted. At first, they don't seem remarkable. Nice pictures for sure, but nothing more. But you hear the song a few more times and you remember how your friends would spike their bottles of juice with vodka rather than buy drinks at the bar. And you realize that singing the phrase "super late" is "super" funny. There's some other great moments in this song, like when the horns kick in at 2:37 and the lonely piano notes contrast spurts of violent drumming from 1:29-1:43. But the beginning is perfect. A perfect start to my favorite album of 2007, and a perfect start to this list.

Of Montreal - "Cato As A Pun", 1:39-1:51
Hissing Fauna has plenty of good moments, but for some reason this line always sticks with me. It's clever. It's simple. It's true. "..don't say that I have changed, because, man, of course I have." What's so wrong with flip-flopping?

M.I.A. - "Paper Planes", 1:43-1:54
While the chorus might be the most memorable part of this song, I wish it was just four minutes of verse. Also, anyone who reads this must only speak to me in this cadence from now on.

David Vandervelde - "Nothin' No", 0:47-1:03
A little jamming and then – Bam! – right into the chorus. Fuck the verse! If it ain't as good, then why start the song with it? I never thought it was appropriate to use the phrase "drenched in reverb" until I heard this song. The young Vandervelde sounds ancient, like he's lived 50 or 60 grizzled years, when he cries, "Nothin', no, is gonna keep us apart."

Vampire Weekend - "Oxford Comma", 1:20-1:49
Two things.
1. The dramatic and yet seamless change from verse to chorus and back again. The drums start marching. Some keyboard notes get held. And then we're back, still in the groove we left 20 seconds earlier.
2. A lazy delivery that's only topped by Stephen Malkmus. If I start trailing off at the end of words, will I sound cooler? Or does it only work in song?

Andrew Bird - "Plasticities", 1:18-1:33
The change from verse to chorus isn't as smooth here. I'm gonna guess that this song was a cut and paste job. Bird wrote a great big fucking chorus and just attached it to whatever scrap of a verse he had lying around. Listening to the song takes patience because there's long stretches of boredom between choruses. But when it finally hits? I literally feel like I'm Aladdin, soaring on a magic carpet, looking down at the Sphinx, knowing I'm gonna get laid by a Princess later in the night.

The Weakerthans - "Virtue the Cat Explains Her Departure", 2:43-2:55
My love for the bridge of a song probably has something to do with Weezer. "Say It Ain't So", "The World Has Turned", "El Scorcho", "In The Garage", "Across the Sea". Ridiculously awesome bridges. This one? Pretty good. A long, meditative part leads into it, the drums get louder and he starts really belting. It's also noteworthy that this song is written from the perspective of a cat, and it's somehow not stupid.

Patrick Wolf - "Bluebells", 3:15-3:24
The idea to have these missile sounds lead into big drum explosions throughout this song would really piss me off if it was done by Conor Oberst. I'll be more jaded in a few years and it probably won't work for me anymore, like how the boy's sister couldn't hear the silver bell in "The Polar Express" when she got older. For now, I believe in Patrick Wolf. I believe the conviction with which he yells "Ringing!" and the ringing noise that comes after it.

Animal Collective - "Fireworks", 5:05-5:18
I could have done, "Fireworks, 0:00-6:50", but that would defeat the purpose of my list. This is my favorite section of the song, I suppose. The lyrics "lift you up" come right as the song lifts up, and Avey Tare's scream is frighteningly catchy.

Okkervil River - "John Allyn Smith Sails", 2:14-2:33
The transition to "Sloop John B", and, specifically, the recognition that this motherfucker Will Sheff is actually singing "Sloop John B", might have been my favorite musical experience of 2007. As if the lyric, "My friends, I'm gone," wasn't dramatic enough...

LCD Soundsystem - "All My Friends", 6:37-7:37
Not much to say about this that hasn't been said already. I'm certainly surprised that James Murphy penned my favorite line of last year, "When you're drunk and the kids look impossibly tan..." There are many obvious reasons to love the end of this song, but my personal reasons have much to do with that section of the music video being unfathomably exciting.

2005 List
2006 List

Under Covers

2007-12-17T09:12:00.000-08:00

It's getting cold outside, and the best way to get warm is to bury yourself under a pile full of Covers. Cover songs, that is.

Over the last couple weeks, there seems to have been an unusually high number of quality cover songs making the rounds, and I'm not even including the I'm Not There soundtrack.

Daniel Rossen - Too Little To Late (JoJo Cover)
According to lead singer Ed Droste's account, he'd been pestering fellow Grizzly Bear bandmate Dan Rossen to cover pop tartlet JoJo's "Too Little To Late" as earnestly as possible. What promised to be a forgettable exercise in irony (see Ben Gibbard's cover of "Complicated") actually turned into something remarkable when given the Grizzly treatment. Nicole, who is often exposed to Top 40 at the pharmacy, thought it sounded familiar, then halfway through remembered, "Oh wait, this is the worst song ever." Now? Definitely not the worst.

Okkervil River - Golden Opportunities Mixtape
Another gift from the band who made perhaps the best album of 2007, Okkervil is giving away this nine-song assortment of covers (plus one original) on their website as a companion to The Stage Names. Randy Newman, Joni Mitchell, Serge Gainsbourg and Sandy Denny are half of the artists covered. The other half? I'm not going to type them up. A cover of John Phillips' (of the Mamas and the Papas fame) "April Anne" is a highlight.

Lily Allen - Mr. Blue Sky (YouTube link)
This is seriously depressing. Lily, who I don't hate, turns a truly joyous celebration of a song into one of the most torturous listening experiences in recent (or distant) memory. Do not listen to this. I'm talking "2 Girls 1 Cup" level of depravity.

Dump - Yo Yo Bye Bye (Why? Cover) and Xiu Xiu - Yo Yo Bye Bye (Sendspace Link)
There are several covers on Why?'s new US/UK "The Hollows" singles, but two artists tackling the same standout track from Why?'s last album, Elephant Eyelash, is most noteworthy. Dump is Yo La Tengo bassist James McNew, and he slows it down considerably. Just as I thought when McNew made a guest appearance to sing this song during Why?'s show at the Knitting Factory this fall, he makes it way more "boring". As for Xiu Xiu's version, it's typically bizarre but far more vocally and musically rewarding than Dump's version.

Dr. Dog - Heart it Races (Architecture in Helsinki Cover)
Covers that surpass the original—if the original is a good song in itself— are few and far between. This one manages to be even bouncier than AIH's version for the first minute or so. It can't seem to maintain the energy level, which is understandable since that might be AIH's specialty.

To get even warmer this Christmas (by getting under Covers, remember?), check out CokeMachineGlow's 2nd Annual "Fantasy Podcast," in which they get a bunch of cool artists to cover a bunch of current songs. It will be available for free download on Christmas day. Until then, head over to GorillavsBear for a couple of preview tracks, including The Main Drag doing LCD's "All My Friends."

5-Year-Old Descendant of Davy Crockett Kills Bear

2007-12-12T11:39:00.000-08:00

Last night I caught wind of that rather unusual headline on ESPN's frontpage. Whether it was just a slow sports news day or the editors really felt this should be celebrated, I do not know, but I clicked on the story anyway.

Maybe it's because I recently watched the most vile (not viral) internet video of all time, "Shake That Bear", but I don't think this story wasn't handled with a lot of grace.

Little Tre Merritt, 5!!!, was out hunting with his grandfather when a black bear "happened upon their stand."

"I was up in the stand and I seen the bear," Tre Merritt said. "It came from the thicket and it was beside the road and I shot it."

Tre seen that bear and done killed it. And boy was his "paw-paw" ever proud. After all, it's entirely relevant to know that this was no small bear.

The bear turned out to be 445 pounds — 12 times the weight of Tre. Mike Merritt said tears rolled down his cheeks when he found out his grandson killed the enormous bear.

Tears? If Jesus' cure cancer, I think Mr. Merritt's probably cause it.

And yes, Tre is the super-great-grandson of Davy Crockett, who paw-paw reckons probably didn't really kill a bear when he was three like legend tells us. This makes Tre's murder all the more kick ass! Because if Tre actually killed a bear as a kindergartner, what's in store for the rest of his life? Certainly he'll have a signature cap. At the very least, he'll be a lifelong responsible gun-owner. But I see bigger things, possibly a presidential future. I can see the attack ads now:

"George Washington chopped down a cherry tree? Fag. Tre Merritt killed a fucking bear."

In the immediate future, Trey wants to kill a turkey, his neighbor's dog and read The Most Dangerous Game for inspiration.

Make sure to watch the local news video to get a feel for these Crocket descendants and the Little Rock newscasters who are equally proud of the young man's accomplishment.

For some reason I'm not as impressed. Maybe if the bear was pregnant...

EDIT: CNN has picked up the story. Video here.

Gentrifying the Internet - Chuck Norris

2007-12-11T12:44:00.000-08:00

Hello again.

When I first read Chuck Norris Facts, I was amused. The year was 1988 and I was amused by almost anything. Thundercats, in particular.

While I played make-belive as Tygra and acted like a piece of loose string was a bolo-whip for years, the Norris facts didn't have much staying power with me. But, of course, they continued to run rampant on the Internet.

It was fine, it was good. It was for kids a little younger than me.

I didn't realize it was also for adults a little older than me until Chuck appeared and read some of the facts on the fraudulently-titled "Best Damn Sports Show Period". No big deal, right? Anything that's popular on the Internet eventually makes its way to a mainstream medium, although I might argue that Chuck Norris facts had already made it to a mainstream audience.

It was fine, though.

Next was the true mark that an Internet joke is dead: a Family Guy appearance. (See "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" for more proof of how FG steals from the web. Or watch any current episode.)

Still, it was fine. No big deal. This wasn't Norris-endorsed; just an ill-conceived joke that might have been funny months earlier when it was written and wasn't relevant by the time it aired.

When I first read the facts, I especially liked, "There is no theory of evolution. Only creatures that Chuck Norris has allowed to live."

In 2006, after these two television appearances, Chuck decided to write a response about his rediscovered relevance on everyone's favorite evangelical homepage, World Net Daily.

It's funny. It's cute. But here's what I really think about the theory of evolution: It's not real. It is not the way we got here. In fact, the life you see on this planet is really just a list of creatures God has allowed to live. We are not creations of random chance. We are not accidents. There is a God, a Creator, who made you and me. We were made in His image, which separates us from all other creatures.

Wow. He adds this nugget:

Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever."

There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases - sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris.

If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris' tears, it's Jesus' blood.

Who knew Chuck was such a Jesus-freak? Also, Jesus' tears could cure cancer?

I suppose it's still fine, though. He's simply talking about what he believes in. Can't fault him for that.

But then earlier this year, the ad executives, vanguards in the field of monetizing web comedy, got wind of someone who was making waves in all the right young male demographics. And you know what else young males like? Mountain Dew.

Um, Chuck? He probably donated the money he made from that to Christian charities, but I still find it problematic that one minute he's using his celebrity to preach Christianity and the next minute using it to hawk testicle-shrinking soda pop.

But it gets much worse. Today, Derekh sent me a link to this wonderful video called HuckChuckFacts:

It's not funny. It's not informative. I don't know who it appeals to. Children? Even if they could vote, they wouldn't be receptive to Huckabee's politics. Talk about a worthless endorsement. Talk about a complete bastardization of the Internet from start to finish.

What started out as a pretty funny concept that a specific community of people embraced got sold over and over again to every audience that could be found. Young people, sports fans, Christians, extreme-sports enthusiasts (Dewers), gun-toting lunatics. Worst of all, it was never used cleverly. There was never an interesting spin put on it. Marketers, writers and politicians simply took what was on the Internet and reproduced it to sell a product, a show, or themselves.

In protest, I'm not drinking Mountain Dew, not voting for Mike Huckabee and not ever believing in God again.

Side Notes:

Ron Paul fans have caught on to the craze. check out Ron Paul Facts. But where are the Barack Obama facts?

I'll start:

Barack Obama is George Costanza's only black friend.

Your turn.

Moving...

2006-12-12T13:15:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the lack of updates lately, but there is some good news.

Scattershot is moving to AZNightBuzz!

I should start posting there in the next week, so I will let you know when that happens.

This really is quite funny...

Joanna Newsom tonight!

2006-11-30T08:09:00.000-08:00

Chris Rock predicts future

2006-11-29T11:16:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted anything about O.J. Simpson, because there's not much left to say about that or the Michael Richards fiasco. But I will post this video from a 1997 episode of The Chris Rock Show. Make sure to watch the end for the Nostradamus moment.

Mr. Manager gets his own show

2006-11-28T11:21:00.000-08:00

Michael Cera, best known for his role as George Michael Bluth in Arrested Development and his work in indie rock band The Long Goodbye, will be getting his own show, on the CBS broadband channel Innertube.

The show will be web-only, and is the first of its kind for CBS. It will be shot mockumentary style with Michael and friend Clark Duke (who is also in The Long Goodbye) playing television producers. They're calling it "The Good Life", maybe because they're huge Weezer fans, and the episodes will be a few minutes long.

I imagine the show will look something like this:

You can find some more comedy from the Clark and Michael team at their MySpace page.

UPDATE: Apparently, the show will simply be called "Clark and Michael" instead of "The Good Life", and will follow the two as they try to sell a pilot script. Hopefully, we'll get to see an episode soon.

Surfing the net

2006-11-20T10:44:00.000-08:00

I spend so much time on the Internet, I'm amazed that there are still essential sites out there that I am just coming across.

Two new sites I've recently discovered I can't live without are Pawky and Fimoculous.

Fimoculous is just a good quality catch-all blog for music, film, tv and misc., but I love it because of the compilation of year-end lists. It's getting to be that time of the season, and I can't wait to roll my eyes about bloggers' buzzed out lists, which started with Information Leafblower's Top 40 Bands in America. (Sure, Girl Talk is the 36th best band in America.)

Pawky is downright awesome. For those who are sick of wading through YouTube to find any semblance of quality, Pawky is the answer -- a video site that highlights award-winning short films. Actual filmmakers can submit films and if the powers-that-be deem it worthy, the site will give it a featured spot. Sure, users could still upload crap or stuff from TV, but it won't be lauded by the more discernable audience that Pawky attracts. I've found that even the user-uploaded videos are pretty cool.

So, yeah. Check out these sites. Also, tell me about some more cool spots, because I've got 16 waking hours to fill.

Brits agree! Ys is "astonishing"!

2006-11-16T11:01:00.001-08:00

Two Joanna Newsom posts in a row? Yes.

Newsom's Ys is racking up rave reviews from pretty much every media outlet. In fact, the only bad review I found was from Rolling Stone, which gave Ys two stars out of five, called it an EP and said her voice makes Bjork sound like Kelly Clarkson. Normally I would be frustrated with reviewer Christian Hoard and chastise him for naming Brad Paisley's "Alcohol" his favorite single of 2005. But I'd rather Joanna not get the Rolling Stone audience.

Curiously, the three British reviews I read all called the album "astonishing," which I guess must be a very popular word over there.

From the BBC: "The orchestra compliment without intruding on Newsom's harp and astonishing range of melody..."

From Uncut: "Uncut’s editor compares "Ys" to Nico’s "Marble Index", for its astonishing single-mindedness..."

From the Guardian: "The lyric book goes on and on like the Gobi Desert. It may well be the most off-putting album released this year. After playing it, there seems every chance it is the also the most astonishing."

If this album weren't so blatantly astonishing, I'd call plagiarism.

Songs: Peach, Plum, Pear

2006-11-14T11:26:00.000-08:00

I think it's natural to get upset when a band you love during their relative anonymity becomes wildly popular. Zack Braff didn't make the Shins' music any worse, and they were already extremely popular, but he contaminated them by feeding them to the masses. I know it's immature, but I want to keep artists I love to myself. Or at least to people that I respect. When you see the Shins listed next to Audioslave on MySpace profiles, it's hard to only hear the music.

There's a chance that I'll get to keep Joanna Newsom, although she's already quite popular and her new brilliant album, Ys, is only going to make her more-so. Her voice, which is inexplicably called annoying, yelping, screeching and other expletives in any mention of her work, will assure me that not everyone will embrace her. Thus, I can continue to stand on high and look down on the masses who don't understand what I see as a singular, mesmerizing voice that may be alien, but is clearly part of a more advanced species than you or I.

The first time I heard the The Milk-Eyed Mender, "Peach, Plum, Pear" startled me. I stopped progressing on the album and listened to the song again. There aren't many songs out there capable of giving me chills, but this one did the first 100 times I heard it.

The rest of the album is great, but this song stands out for so many reasons. A new instrument, an electric harp, instructs you to listen. It sounds like a song from the future, from an instrument I've never heard and a voice I could never imagine. And then the voice magnifies itself at certain points, the song ascending to terrifying new heights.

It's at these points where the song becomes something I'll never get over. Doubletracking vocals is nice, but Newsom quadruple (or more) tracks to make the climax that much more intense.

For many people that annoying, yelping voice X 4 will be only that more unbearable. For me, it's transcendent.

And I am blue, I am blue and unwell.

Joanna Newsom - Peach, Plum, Pear

Final Fantasy - Peach, Plum, Pear

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

2006-11-13T10:42:00.000-08:00

Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man comes out tomorrow on DVD, and, unfortunately, I can't really say it's worth buying or renting.

The problem is there's only one performance from Leonard, and this isn't rectified in the DVD special features. Sure, Rufus Wainwright's "Chelsea Hotel #2" (possibly my favorite Leonard song) is nice, but then you've got to traverse through loads of Bono and The Edge rubbish to get to anything else worthwhile.

Instead, try YouTube for all your Leonard viewing needs.

Here's a classic live performance of Chelsea at Carnegie Hall, and here's Rufus doing it. For good measure, here's an ugly girl with a lisp doing it.

But this is the crown jewel of all things Leonard on YouTube, and it just popped up a couple days ago. Notice the amazing clothing on the choir, and the way Leonard so casually turns up to them, with hands in pocket.

Election day

2006-11-07T13:35:00.000-08:00

Vote baby!

Awesome "Ironic" Tee Idea

2006-11-06T09:21:00.000-08:00

This poor dude, who has an innocent enough impulse to expose himself to young girls, was ordered by a Delaware judge to wear a new work uniform consisting of a T-shirt with the catchy phrase "I am a registered sex offender" on the front.

I'm sure this guy's business will go down in flames if he's standing out front welcoming families with his happy new shirt, unless he capitalizes on it and starts a new business. Sell this shit to BustedTees or put a Adobe Illustrated penis on it and sell it to Threadless! Not only will he make some extra cash from frat boys, but the market will be so flooded with these shirts that no one will be able to tell who's a real sex offender. So not only can he can continue his gardening business, but he can continue exposing himself any chance he gets.

Because what's the judge gonna do next time, make him wear a hat? That's only going to help him expand his business.

I really want this I 'heart' Lamp shirt.

Scatter-Shot at CMJ

2006-11-03T12:36:00.000-08:00

Red Hot Chili Peppers at Northsix

I was walking by Northsix in Williamsburg last night around 3 a.m., coming home from the Annuals show (all hype, fyi), when I heard some monster bass lines making their way out to the street. I walked up to the unguarded door and peeked inside. About 20 people were standing around trying to look bored, but there were five onstage looking anything but.

The Red Hot Fucking Chili Peppers baby! Booyah!

They opened up with "Give it Away" and got the crowd, or at least me, really into an awesome rock mood.

The highlight of the show was when Anthony sent the band offstage, took an acoustic guitar and played a more spectacular version of "Under the Bridge" than I even thought was possible, and this is coming from a guy who has seen RHCP at least a dozen times. It was both earth-shattering and heart-shattering, which makes sense because those words use the same letters.

If I had to use any letters to describe the show it would be L-O-V-E. You guys have got to check out the latest RHCP, Californication. Hit after hit after #1 hit.

This is my favorite part of CMJ, when I catch a secret show from a band I don't expect to see. Last year it was Elton John, but this year was better.

Here's some video I caught of the show with my phone camera:

Worst Website Ever

2006-11-01T11:21:00.000-08:00

I hate having to use the grossly overplayed Comic Book Guy reference, but I really did find the worst website ever. And while I know this template blogger page isn't anything to brag about, at least I didn't try to make my own like Iris Lord.

I was watching music videos in the YouTube Underground contest, and came across one called "Screentest" for an experimental jazz singer named Iris Lord. I thought the video was pretty cool, so I checked her website to see who the fuck this crazy chick was.

At irislord.com, it's quite difficult to find out anything about the artist because of the red text on yellow background. You can click on what looks to be album covers, and that will take you to smaller pictures of the album. And then there's the page with her bio I found after half an hour, where you might absorb some info if you've got a couple hours to read a big block of text.

Simply terrible. Please check it out and click around a bit. And tell me about the worst website you've come across. Now there are over 100 million of them, so I'm sure there are some even worse than Iris Lord's.

Diary of a Werewolf

2006-10-31T10:32:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about competing in the 48 Hour Film Contest, and now I present you with the video that my team, the Sparkle Kids, created.

On Friday, there was a screening and awards ceremony for all the entries, and we ended up winning four awards, including Best Film. Because of that, we had the great privilege of appearing on the local morning zoo radio show on KFMA, where I proceeded to hog the mic and try to get someone listening to offer me a new job.

Anyway, here's the film. It's called "Diary of a Werewolf" - which seems appropriate for this Halloween day.

We had to use a prop (pumpkin), a line of dialogue ("I don't know, I'm not a dentist.") and a character (Bob Johnson), and make the film in a specific genre (horror).

You can check out some other films from the contest here.

"Gravity" Music Video

2006-10-30T09:53:00.000-08:00

The good people over at Glitterfish have finished their music video for L.A. band She's Your Sister.

The song, "Gravity," off their debut album In Between is pretty good, and the video is great.

Produced by Andy Martinez and directed by Jonny Pulley, the video utilizes still images to tell the band's origin story.

Watch the video here, and then log in to vote for it in the very cool YouTube Underground Contest.

Top 5 Best Origin Stories:
5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
4. Batman
3. She's Your Sister
2. Spider-Man
1. Earth (Thanks God!)

Top 1 Worst Origin Story:
1. Darth Vader

There's no such thing as a free lunch

2006-10-25T12:06:00.000-07:00

I don't really understand how this hasn't been stopped, but you can watch a bunch of television shows online at this website without having to download anything.

From animated classics like Family Guy and The Simpsons, to shows that iTunes is trying to get us to download like LOST and The Office. Plus Kenan and Kel.

You'd think the networks could shut down this website, but I guess they haven't caught on to it yet.

Also, here's a good torrent for the new Shins album, if you haven't grabbed it yet.

UPDATE: Now the website doesn't work. Remember the no free lunch thing... You can still get loads of episodes at www.dailymotion.com, you'll just have to search for them.

A trip down Nostalgia Lane #1

2006-10-23T12:40:00.000-07:00

I loved going to the video store as a child. The one in the shopping center right by my house had a great cartoon selection, with classics like Thundercats and Silverhawks.

I would rent the same tapes over and over again, but my most-rented video was, without question, Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue, an anti-drug PSA from 1990 featuring every cartoon character worth a damn working together to get a teen off drugs. The Smurfs, the Ninja Turtles, Alf, Garfield, the Chipmunks, Winnie the Pooh, Bugs Bunny. The list goes on and on.

I certainly didn't rent it because of the message, but for the sensory overload of seeing all my favorites interacting on screen.

Thanks to YouTube, I can finally see the half-hour video again. (I tried multiple times to get it on ebay, but didn't want to pay more than $20.)

The video is at turns hilarious (the first line is "Morning already? I was smurfing like a baby.") and absurd (George Sr. and Barbara Bush introduce the film, and nerdy Simon explains to the others about, "marijuana, an unlawful substance used to experience artificial highs.").

Simply put, this is choice viewing whether you watched it as a kid or not.

Scatter-Shot #2

2006-10-20T11:02:00.000-07:00

Gripe of the Week: I used to only hate the St. Louis Cardinals because they're in the same division as my consistently awful Cincy Reds, but now I've got a better reason. Scott Spiezio, the one-time steroid pumper who now looks like he might have trouble lifting up the syringe, is sporting a gross soul patch, dyed Cardinal red. Seriously, Douchey McSpiez? What are you thinking? I'd rather see you with a bright red mullet. I hope you guys get swept.

Quoteworthy: "Emo is bullshit. If people want to take it for the literal sense of the word, yes, we're an emotional band, we put a lot of thought into what we do. People always try to stereotype us, but we don't fit the emo stereotype," Brendon Urle, lead singer of Panic! at the Disco. I'm not sure what is more obviously false, that they're not emo, or that they put a lot of thought into what they do.

Newsworthy: Shrek is being transformed into a Broadway musical, set to premiere on the stage in 2008. We can only hope that it will last beyond '08 though, and overtake Cats as the longest running Broadway show. Make sure to see it multiple times, because fart jokes, especially in song, get even funnier the second and third times around.

Watch: New Michel Gondry-directed Beck video. Of course it's awesome.

Read: I wouldn't normally post about this, because I already did yesterday, but I'm just so happy that teen columnist Jessica Mendibles let us in on the little secret that, "God exists." It looks like I scooped you, Matt Drudge.

Listen: You Ain't No Picasso had a new track from the forthcoming Shins album, but the stooges over at SubPop must have put an end to that. Damn, I was ready to get my life changed again (I will never get tired of Shins-Garden State jokes). Still check out the post for a Shins cover of a Magnetic Fields song.

Teen Columnist Proves Existence of God!

2006-10-19T12:33:00.000-07:00

Everyone can stop debating this bullshit. Yes, there is a God. Teen columnist for the Tucson Citizen Jessica Mendibles proved it. "God exists," Jessica writes in the opinion section of Tuesday's paper.

Not convinced? Well, she'll fucking prove it again for you. Goddamn heathens...

"My answer to those who question the presence of God is: Yes, God is real..."

She refutes evolution as well. And no, she doesn't have any fucking evidence. She doesn't need any. It's about faith, dummy.

Why was more than 500 words devoted to this in a supposedly unbiased paper in a mostly liberal city? I have no idea.

Please comment on this column over at the Citizen website. If not because you're appalled that this was printed, then because Mendibles is such an incredible last name. Just say it. Mendibles. Ha. Rolls of the tongue.

LSD for Soldiers and Children

2006-10-17T11:43:00.000-07:00

Amidst the news that the U.S. Government is "torturing" terror suspects with LSD, here are some awesome videos of soldiers and children doing or talking about LSD. They're in black and white, so that means they're old.

These soldiers try to carry out their mission while tripping balls, broseph.

This one has a little boy talking quite eloquently about his religious experience on LSD.

And here's a girl on LSD trying to wrap her head around the concept of "orange."

48 Hour Film Fest

2006-10-16T10:10:00.000-07:00

This weekend I competed in a 48 Hour Film contest, in which my team had to write, shoot and edit a 4 - 7 minute film in 48 hours. The organizers assign teams different genres, but every team has to use the same prop (pumpkin), character (Bob Johnson) and line of dialogue ("I don't know, I'm not a dentist.").

There are thousands of entries every year in similar contests. Here is the national winner from last year, the fantastic Mimes on the Prairie. Here is the second place entry — which I only mention because it was created by a team called Scattershot — The Write Stuff.

And if you can't stop watching the 48 hour movies, YouTube has hundreds of them. Breakin' Hearts was the best one I found over there. Obviously, it's a breakdancing musical.

If you want to try your hand at 48 hour filmmaking, this weekend you can compete in the National Film Challenge, which is actually international.

Scatter-Shot #1

2006-10-13T10:37:00.000-07:00

Newsworthy: Marijuana will help you defeat Alzheimer's. Next up, AIDS.

Quoteworthy: "Terrell has 25 millions reasons why he should be alive," publicist Kim Etheredge, referencing Terrell Owens $25 million contract, as the reason he wouldn't try to kill himself. Me? Including college loans and credit card debt, I've got a few thousand reasons to end it all.

Random Review: I bought a box of Handi-Snacks Crackers 'N Cheez for nostalgic reasons, and it turned out to be a stupid idea, just like when I got Thundercats on DVD or downloaded Kriss-Kross.

Watch: NBC is riding high with Howie Mandel and "Deal or No Deal", so why not have Bob Saget host "1 vs. 100," the new game show premiering tonight. Like most game shows, "1 vs. 100" has whored itself around the world before coming to America, looking for a new start and some cream to relieve the burning down there. The show premieres tonight.

Listen: Ryan Adams, who changes his mind about the Internet every day, has put up a new "album" called You are the Audience up on his website. I would say the 36 tracks are a joke, but I like them better than most of Adams' recent offerings.

Read: It's pretty difficult for anyone to defend Mel Gibson right now. But you know who could? Jesus Christ. Through Pat Boone, that is. Check out Boone's column where he tells us that he knows "Mel and Christ, and my friend Mel is no anti-semite." Christ, however, believes the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.

Bam! You come to another light.

2006-10-12T11:28:00.000-07:00

I went to the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in L.A. this weekend to catch F'Ed Up and Illegal Videos, hosted by Matt Besser. It was a great show, as most of UCB's offerings are. While I consider myself well-versed in Internet vids, everything they showed was new to me.

Larry Williams giving directions to a couple out-of-towners might have been the highlight of the show for me.

Chitra my queen, let's boycott Fandango

2006-10-11T09:45:00.000-07:00

I suppose I understand the marketing idea that if your advertisements are annoying enough, they will stick with the consumer. But once the company knows they’ve got plenty of brand awareness, it should be time to change the ads to make the consumer happy.

Of course, I’m talking about Fandango, a company that sells movie-tickets online. More specifically, I’m talking about the paper bag puppets who help the audience start almost every film I see in the worst possible mindset.

At first, I thought that the Fandango puppet humor just didn’t appeal to me. I would hear laughter throughout the theater as the puppets talked about getting their movie tickets online. Now, I don’t think anyone is laughing. Ethnic stereotypes have entered the advertisements and reoccurring characters such as Chitra and her husband are making what was once only painful, now completely unbearable.

Here is the most worthless ad so far, but they'll only get worse....unless we do something.

Today I call for Fandango to stop advertising. We know that if we want to buy tickets online, we’ve got to go through you…and pay the $1 service charge. But I personally will not buy tickets online until you change your ad campaign. The puppets need to die a quick, hopefully very painful, death.

Here are some new campaign ideas that are less offensive, since Fandango apparently have no one working on this.

1. Diet Coke and Mentos - this is really hot right now

2. Lonelygirl15 - she can sell anything

3. Budweiser frogs - bring them back, have them say "whassup"

Shit, I even made a petition. Sign it and join me in stopping the most irritating ad campaign since Jared lost more than 200 pounds!

Or if you love the ads, go buy a t-shirt online for only $15.

Why I don't read on Wednesday

2006-10-04T21:59:00.000-07:00

"One quality show after another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves, but they won’t! They won’t let me live!” - Homer

There's America's Next Top Model and Project Runway. Now there's South Park and the new David Cross and Jon Benjamin cartoon Freakshow. The airwaves are so clogged with entertainment that I have to skip Laguna Beach. It's a good thing the Yankees-Tigers game was rained out. I don't know what I'll do when Top Chef starts up again.

The real star of Wednesday night, however, is of course Lost. I'm a little late to the party on this show, and had to catch up on DVD in the last couple weeks. The first episode of the 3rd season is the first I've seen with commercials, and it was agonizing to wait three minutes to see what happened next. Now I have to endure a 215 hour break before the next episode.

If you are deciding whether or not to watch the show, take a look at LOSTpedia and see what might become of you. This is also a good site if you need a quick bump to make it until next Wednesday.

They have character histories, plot summaries and lots of other useless info, but the most fun are reading the "fan theories."

Here are some of the nuttiest ones:

The numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42 are in fact referencing the periodic table, and the combination of these elements (Be, O, P, S, V and Mo) create an evil weapon.
LIKELINESS: 5

The statue of a foot with four toes that Sayid sees means "the others" might be trolls.
LIKELINESS: 8

Mr. Friendly, the man who leads the boat that takes Walt, is gay.
LIKELINESS: 10

Jack's father is Him, the leader of the others. John Locke's father is Him. HIM is an acronym for "His Infernal Majesty" - the Devil.
LIKELINESS: 0

An early name for Goliath was Alwt, an anagram for Walt, therefore...I'm not sure.
LIKELINESS: ?

Mr. Manager gets his own band

2006-10-03T00:40:00.000-07:00

"Some of the artists are kind of talented. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of The Jerky Boys. They do these prank phone calls. It’s kind of old school, but... I have the tape in my room. I accidentally didn’t burn it yet."

It's the fall and thanks to Fox there's nothing funny on television again. For those with serious or minor Arrested Development withdrawl, there's a few options. Buster shows up in the trailer for Stranger than Fiction, which looks like this year's Oscar-worthy indie flick for Clint Eastwood to stomp on come Awards time. And there's Gob in this prison movie, which looks pretty bad but is directed by Bob Odenkirk, so who knows?

If you're tired of moving images, AD's cast is delving into other areas of the entertainment industry, notably with Michael Cera (George Michael) tryng his hand at music.

The kids of AD always seemed super cool behind a nerdy front, and this was confirmed when my friends spotted Maeby and Bland checking out the Mountain Goats in-store at Amoeba L.A. a few weeks ago. "Where was George Michael?" I asked.

Apparently practicing with his band, The Long Goodbye, who are actually AWESOME. Only 18-years-old, Michael plays guitar and sometimes sings for TLG - which cites influences like Neutral Milk Hotel and Weezer (I'm sure only pre-Green Weez, though). Michael even sports a serious Rivers Cuomo style in most of the band's pics on their MySpace page.

TLG has one rocker ("Nothing at All") and a couple beautiful acoustic songs up on MySpace.

"Can I Call You Mine" reminds me a bit of Rogue Wave's "Postage Stamp World", but I think it tops it. I haven't heard a cuter song in ages with Michael's unabashed vocals and the perfect harmonica accompaniment. I can't stop listening to it.

I don't know if this band will achieve a Phantom Planet or, dare I say, 30 Seconds to Mars level of success, but The Long Goodbye is no novelty act. They aren't playing live regularly, and don't appear to have any kind of record deal, but I think they're on the right track and I can't wait to check them out next time they play.

Check out Michael and band-mate Clark dance around the house in this DIY music video. Better than OK Go, or at least more adorable.

"I was going to smoke the marijuana, like a cigarette."

Extreme Makeover: Harry Edition

2006-10-02T12:11:00.000-07:00

It looks like Harry has gotten a significant trim for the upcoming Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, the fifth film installment of the tremendous literary series.

Unless they're straying quite far from the book, I don't think Harry and Hermione will be an item in the film, but this shot suggests they might be at least friends with benefits. I thought he looked better shaggy in Goblet, but I guess she likes this flathead nerd cut.

More pics from HP 5, out next summer.

UPDATE: Check out Daniel Radcliffe on the most recent episode of Extras.

A timeline of douchebaggery

2006-09-27T14:32:00.000-07:00

Dustin Diamond aka Screech aka Douche McCallister has reached the apex of his douchiness, pathetically grasping for any semblance of fame he can get his grubby little hands on.

He's decided to release a sex tape where he has a threesome with two girls, and in the end actually gives one of the girls a dirty sanchez, something that this douche probably does on a regular basis to any girl he can find who's on a nostalgia kick. Here's a preview.

And here's a timeline of his douchebaggery for those who haven't kept informed on what this wad has done since they cancelled Saved by the Bell: The New Class.

2002 - Beats up an old man
Perhaps the most disturbing of all the Celebrity Boxing fiascos, Screech takes on Horshack in a nerd fight. Not only does he unveil a major molester goatee, but he relentlessly beats up a poor old man in the saddest moment of his career. He shows no mercy, as he begins to try and shed the "dork" image which he thinks is holding back his "career."

2003 - Doesn't want to talk about Saved
Whether it's promoting his terrible band or his terrible stand-up, Diamond appeared on numerous morning zoo shows and continues to do this. I'm sure there's a story like this in every city, but here's what happened in Tucson: I normally don't listen to these shows but somehow hear Screech on The Frank Show one morning, promoting something or other. He doesn't want to talk about Zack Attack or his crush on Lisa, and only says that he's moved on from Saved by the Bell. He eventually hangs up because they don't take him seriously. What did you expect Screech?

2003 - Worst band in the world
He plays or played bass in Salty the Pocketknife. If you think the name is terrible, just listen. If anybody gets through the whole song...

2006 - He wants a handout, not a hand-up
Apparently about to lose his Wisconsin home, Diamond asks the internet community to come together and give him tons of money. He tries to make it seem like an injustice on his website, but he simply can't pay his rent, so the bank is going to foreclose on his home. Poor baby, maybe you should move into an apartment. His plan to sell 30,000 shirts at $15 each is ludicrous, and the shirts say "Save Screeech's house" because he doesn't have the rights to Screech. This is also clearly a publicity stunt, just like...

2006 - Mugged by a lady
While in Nebraska for a stand-up event (the first sign that this story might be false), he was mugged in his hotel room by a woman trying to steal his video games.

2006 - Porn star
Please die Diamond, or make like Bobby Fischer and disappear.

Here's a funny Screech website from YTMND, and here's another!

Where does Sorkin find these guys?

2006-09-25T23:59:00.000-07:00

“Timothy Busfield sure was great in Little Big League and Bradley Whitford stole the show in Billy Madison. Let's cast 'em!” – Aaron Sorkin.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip premiered last week and it seems like Sorkin’s done it again. Yawn.

One of the keys to Aaron’s success is his ability to find actors with talent and bring them out from anonymity. Busfield and Whitford are the best part of Studio 60, but it remains to be seen if this will make Steven Weber (Wings) a star.

While I’m definitely an immediate fan of Studio 60, I remain skeptical about whether it will save TV, as was pretty much promised during the show-inside-a-show’s opening monologue.

Here are top three concerns after the first two episodes:

1. How will they handle the sketches?
Sure, Sports Night was “funny,” but it was dialogue based, and sketch comedy is a different beast. Maybe we won’t even regularly see sketches, or maybe it will turn into a one-per-episode formula as they used in the second episode. None of the writing staff were sketch writers in a previous life, but, if you ask me, I think it would be a good idea to hire a couple people with that kind of experience to help write sketches.

2. Matthew Perry? Amanda Peet?
I wasn’t impressed with his brief stint in West Wing, but Sorkin insisted that he play the character of Matthew Albee on the show. I don’t want to live to see the day Perry is nominated for Best Actor in a Dramatic Series, although he is better than Kiefer Sutherland. As for Peet? Hopefully her character will be gone by Season 3.

3. Romantic possibilities?
I already hate the idea of Peet and Whitford getting together, or the drama that will ensue with Perry and the religious singer (WTF?) Harriet Hayes. Also, please get Dule Hill out of that Psych show and onto network TV where he belongs.

Combining his dramatic and comedic power is an exciting play from Sorkin, but I don’t feel like the attempt to do something that combines Sports Night and West Wing necessarily means that it will be better than or equal to the sum of both parts.

So far I love the show, but really hate Sarah Paulson. The prayer circle before the show was strange to say the least, and the way everyone keeps talking about her like she's a comedy god hasn't been backed up by her saying or doing anything funny. Her performance in the song at the end of Ep 2 was painfully unfunny.

She must be fucking Sorkin or something...

Here's the very weird Defaker blog created to promote the show. I don't think this was a good idea. Here's a cache if they decided to take the site down because it was not a good idea.

What is this all about then?

2006-09-25T23:47:00.000-07:00

I guess I should do some kind of mission statement, or at least explain what's going to be happening here at scatter-shot.

1. I will filter the entire internet every day - except for weekends - and bring you only the juiciest nuggets (or sweetest morsels).
2. I will sometimes write about movies, and other times about music, but everything will fall under the gigantic umbrella of pop culture. This is why the blog is called scatter-shot, because I have no focus.
3. I will be creative.
4. I will have fun features and activities.
5. I will make lists.

Bonus:
6. The revolution will not be televised.

Wishful thinking

2006-09-25T13:34:00.000-07:00

Death of a President, the fictional documentary that pretends Prezzie Bush was assasinated, took home an award a couple weekends ago at the Toronto International Film Festival, and actually picked up a serious distribution deal.

I always roll my eyes when artists decide to take a stab at changing the world with candor and controversy, even if I vote the same way they do. Subtlety really goes a long way, I swear.

The movie could be great, but we need to look only to indie rock to see how overt politicizing can make artists look like fools.

Take Bright Eyes, with a lead singer who shoots straight from the hip. This works most of the time for Conor Oberst, because he's got the hooks, voice and hipster hair to pull it off. But he really went for it with his anti-Bush song, "When the President Talks to God," and blew it big time.

Not only are the lyrics bitter and pathetic, but the song itself is so bad that Jay Leno doesn't even seem to like it.

But maybe Death of a President will have more in common with Okkervil River's new track, "The President's Dead" - which you can get over at YANP.

I'm sure these guys are liberal, but Will Sheff and co. actually give some thought to the situation (and the songwriting) and don't straight up give in to Bush-bashing - which is about as fresh as Sufjan Stevens-praising at this point.

The soundtrack for this movie sure could be interesting. Maybe it will all be NOFX. I'm hoping that Pink will make an appearance.

First Post. Last Post?

2006-09-25T02:22:00.000-07:00

When I started making (I use this term loosely) this blog, a continuation of the regular feature I wrote every week in the Arizona Daily Wildcat - the student newspaper for the University of Arizona - I ran into trouble gettting the domain name I wanted from Blogspot.

Since everyone has at least one blog, all of my first choices were taken. But it's not like they were being put to good use; they were a waste of space with most having only an initial post.

Let's give these blogs that took my names the attention they don't deserve, shall we?

www.scattershot.blogspot.com

I guess this blog is call "Weird Al." Was it all going to be about Al Gore? I like in the third graph when blogger Andrew refers to him as Algore, which sounds like an African country. You'd think this blog would still be active as Gore is back into the spotlight with An Inconvenient Truth. He was even on the MTV Video Music Awards. Isn't that worthy of a fucking post, Andy? Just plan on updating every two and a half years. You've got time for that, don't you?

www.scatteredshots.blogspot.com

Another conservative political blog, albeit with a little LiveJournal action mixed in. POLITICAL_JUNKIE_N_SC, I'm sorry but I couldn't even get through the entirety of your first and only post. And I guess since I'm only the second person to view your profile it doesn't matter, but Be Cool is not acceptable to list as one of your favorite movies.

www.scattershooting.blogspot.com

Glen Jarboe claims in his profile that he "wants to do lots of things" during his retirement. Apparently, keeping up with a blog is not one of them. The rare 60-year-old blogger couldn't even muster up enough material for an actual first post. All it says is "First Test Post." However, he did get four comments on this test post, and two other bloggers found it to be "inquisitive." Glen, you're getting a positive response, why stop now?

www.scatter.blogspot.com

By this time I was getting pretty desperate/pissed off. Way back in 2001, Andrew Robinson decided to start this thing called a "blog." It was like a journal that you could keep online, and your friends could read it, too. Everyone thought he was crazy, but he said he wouldn't stop until everyone was reading his "blog." Unfortunately, Andrew died on June 12, 2001, and he was never able to make that second post. You can probably read about it here.

http://www.musicandvideo.blogspot.com/

And here is my previous blog, which I only managed to make one post on. I'll cast stones, but I'll throw them right back at myself as well.

But seriously, Music+Video? That first post showed promise, no?