Dustin Diamond aka Screech aka Douche McCallister has reached the apex of his douchiness, pathetically grasping for any semblance of fame he can get his grubby little hands on.
He's decided to release a sex tape where he has a threesome with two girls, and in the end actually gives one of the girls a dirty sanchez, something that this douche probably does on a regular basis to any girl he can find who's on a nostalgia kick. Here's a preview.
And here's a timeline of his douchebaggery for those who haven't kept informed on what this wad has done since they cancelled Saved by the Bell: The New Class.
2002 - Beats up an old man
Perhaps the most disturbing of all the Celebrity Boxing fiascos, Screech takes on Horshack in a nerd fight. Not only does he unveil a major molester goatee, but he relentlessly beats up a poor old man in the saddest moment of his career. He shows no mercy, as he begins to try and shed the "dork" image which he thinks is holding back his "career."
2003 - Doesn't want to talk about Saved
Whether it's promoting his terrible band or his terrible stand-up, Diamond appeared on numerous morning zoo shows and continues to do this. I'm sure there's a story like this in every city, but here's what happened in Tucson: I normally don't listen to these shows but somehow hear Screech on The Frank Show one morning, promoting something or other. He doesn't want to talk about Zack Attack or his crush on Lisa, and only says that he's moved on from Saved by the Bell. He eventually hangs up because they don't take him seriously. What did you expect Screech?
2003 - Worst band in the world
He plays or played bass in Salty the Pocketknife. If you think the name is terrible, just listen. If anybody gets through the whole song...
2006 - He wants a handout, not a hand-up
Apparently about to lose his Wisconsin home, Diamond asks the internet community to come together and give him tons of money. He tries to make it seem like an injustice on his website, but he simply can't pay his rent, so the bank is going to foreclose on his home. Poor baby, maybe you should move into an apartment. His plan to sell 30,000 shirts at $15 each is ludicrous, and the shirts say "Save Screeech's house" because he doesn't have the rights to Screech. This is also clearly a publicity stunt, just like...
2006 - Mugged by a lady
While in Nebraska for a stand-up event (the first sign that this story might be false), he was mugged in his hotel room by a woman trying to steal his video games.
2006 - Porn star
Please die Diamond, or make like Bobby Fischer and disappear.
Here's a funny Screech website from YTMND, and here's another!
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
Where does Sorkin find these guys?
“Timothy Busfield sure was great in Little Big League and Bradley Whitford stole the show in Billy Madison. Let's cast 'em!” – Aaron Sorkin.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip premiered last week and it seems like Sorkin’s done it again. Yawn.
One of the keys to Aaron’s success is his ability to find actors with talent and bring them out from anonymity. Busfield and Whitford are the best part of Studio 60, but it remains to be seen if this will make Steven Weber (Wings) a star.
While I’m definitely an immediate fan of Studio 60, I remain skeptical about whether it will save TV, as was pretty much promised during the show-inside-a-show’s opening monologue.
Here are top three concerns after the first two episodes:
1. How will they handle the sketches?
Sure, Sports Night was “funny,” but it was dialogue based, and sketch comedy is a different beast. Maybe we won’t even regularly see sketches, or maybe it will turn into a one-per-episode formula as they used in the second episode. None of the writing staff were sketch writers in a previous life, but, if you ask me, I think it would be a good idea to hire a couple people with that kind of experience to help write sketches.
2. Matthew Perry? Amanda Peet?
I wasn’t impressed with his brief stint in West Wing, but Sorkin insisted that he play the character of Matthew Albee on the show. I don’t want to live to see the day Perry is nominated for Best Actor in a Dramatic Series, although he is better than Kiefer Sutherland. As for Peet? Hopefully her character will be gone by Season 3.
3. Romantic possibilities?
I already hate the idea of Peet and Whitford getting together, or the drama that will ensue with Perry and the religious singer (WTF?) Harriet Hayes. Also, please get Dule Hill out of that Psych show and onto network TV where he belongs.
Combining his dramatic and comedic power is an exciting play from Sorkin, but I don’t feel like the attempt to do something that combines Sports Night and West Wing necessarily means that it will be better than or equal to the sum of both parts.
So far I love the show, but really hate Sarah Paulson. The prayer circle before the show was strange to say the least, and the way everyone keeps talking about her like she's a comedy god hasn't been backed up by her saying or doing anything funny. Her performance in the song at the end of Ep 2 was painfully unfunny.
She must be fucking Sorkin or something...
Here's the very weird Defaker blog created to promote the show. I don't think this was a good idea. Here's a cache if they decided to take the site down because it was not a good idea.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip premiered last week and it seems like Sorkin’s done it again. Yawn.
One of the keys to Aaron’s success is his ability to find actors with talent and bring them out from anonymity. Busfield and Whitford are the best part of Studio 60, but it remains to be seen if this will make Steven Weber (Wings) a star.
While I’m definitely an immediate fan of Studio 60, I remain skeptical about whether it will save TV, as was pretty much promised during the show-inside-a-show’s opening monologue.
Here are top three concerns after the first two episodes:
1. How will they handle the sketches?
Sure, Sports Night was “funny,” but it was dialogue based, and sketch comedy is a different beast. Maybe we won’t even regularly see sketches, or maybe it will turn into a one-per-episode formula as they used in the second episode. None of the writing staff were sketch writers in a previous life, but, if you ask me, I think it would be a good idea to hire a couple people with that kind of experience to help write sketches.
2. Matthew Perry? Amanda Peet?
I wasn’t impressed with his brief stint in West Wing, but Sorkin insisted that he play the character of Matthew Albee on the show. I don’t want to live to see the day Perry is nominated for Best Actor in a Dramatic Series, although he is better than Kiefer Sutherland. As for Peet? Hopefully her character will be gone by Season 3.
3. Romantic possibilities?
I already hate the idea of Peet and Whitford getting together, or the drama that will ensue with Perry and the religious singer (WTF?) Harriet Hayes. Also, please get Dule Hill out of that Psych show and onto network TV where he belongs.
Combining his dramatic and comedic power is an exciting play from Sorkin, but I don’t feel like the attempt to do something that combines Sports Night and West Wing necessarily means that it will be better than or equal to the sum of both parts.
So far I love the show, but really hate Sarah Paulson. The prayer circle before the show was strange to say the least, and the way everyone keeps talking about her like she's a comedy god hasn't been backed up by her saying or doing anything funny. Her performance in the song at the end of Ep 2 was painfully unfunny.
She must be fucking Sorkin or something...
Here's the very weird Defaker blog created to promote the show. I don't think this was a good idea. Here's a cache if they decided to take the site down because it was not a good idea.
What is this all about then?
I guess I should do some kind of mission statement, or at least explain what's going to be happening here at scatter-shot.
1. I will filter the entire internet every day - except for weekends - and bring you only the juiciest nuggets (or sweetest morsels).
2. I will sometimes write about movies, and other times about music, but everything will fall under the gigantic umbrella of pop culture. This is why the blog is called scatter-shot, because I have no focus.
3. I will be creative.
4. I will have fun features and activities.
5. I will make lists.
Bonus:
6. The revolution will not be televised.
1. I will filter the entire internet every day - except for weekends - and bring you only the juiciest nuggets (or sweetest morsels).
2. I will sometimes write about movies, and other times about music, but everything will fall under the gigantic umbrella of pop culture. This is why the blog is called scatter-shot, because I have no focus.
3. I will be creative.
4. I will have fun features and activities.
5. I will make lists.
Bonus:
6. The revolution will not be televised.
Wishful thinking
Death of a President, the fictional documentary that pretends Prezzie Bush was assasinated, took home an award a couple weekends ago at the Toronto International Film Festival, and actually picked up a serious distribution deal.
I always roll my eyes when artists decide to take a stab at changing the world with candor and controversy, even if I vote the same way they do. Subtlety really goes a long way, I swear.
The movie could be great, but we need to look only to indie rock to see how overt politicizing can make artists look like fools.
Take Bright Eyes, with a lead singer who shoots straight from the hip. This works most of the time for Conor Oberst, because he's got the hooks, voice and hipster hair to pull it off. But he really went for it with his anti-Bush song, "When the President Talks to God," and blew it big time.
Not only are the lyrics bitter and pathetic, but the song itself is so bad that Jay Leno doesn't even seem to like it.
But maybe Death of a President will have more in common with Okkervil River's new track, "The President's Dead" - which you can get over at YANP.
I'm sure these guys are liberal, but Will Sheff and co. actually give some thought to the situation (and the songwriting) and don't straight up give in to Bush-bashing - which is about as fresh as Sufjan Stevens-praising at this point.
The soundtrack for this movie sure could be interesting. Maybe it will all be NOFX. I'm hoping that Pink will make an appearance.
I always roll my eyes when artists decide to take a stab at changing the world with candor and controversy, even if I vote the same way they do. Subtlety really goes a long way, I swear.
The movie could be great, but we need to look only to indie rock to see how overt politicizing can make artists look like fools.
Take Bright Eyes, with a lead singer who shoots straight from the hip. This works most of the time for Conor Oberst, because he's got the hooks, voice and hipster hair to pull it off. But he really went for it with his anti-Bush song, "When the President Talks to God," and blew it big time.
Not only are the lyrics bitter and pathetic, but the song itself is so bad that Jay Leno doesn't even seem to like it.
But maybe Death of a President will have more in common with Okkervil River's new track, "The President's Dead" - which you can get over at YANP.
I'm sure these guys are liberal, but Will Sheff and co. actually give some thought to the situation (and the songwriting) and don't straight up give in to Bush-bashing - which is about as fresh as Sufjan Stevens-praising at this point.
The soundtrack for this movie sure could be interesting. Maybe it will all be NOFX. I'm hoping that Pink will make an appearance.
First Post. Last Post?
When I started making (I use this term loosely) this blog, a continuation of the regular feature I wrote every week in the Arizona Daily Wildcat - the student newspaper for the University of Arizona - I ran into trouble gettting the domain name I wanted from Blogspot.
Since everyone has at least one blog, all of my first choices were taken. But it's not like they were being put to good use; they were a waste of space with most having only an initial post.
Let's give these blogs that took my names the attention they don't deserve, shall we?
www.scattershot.blogspot.com
I guess this blog is call "Weird Al." Was it all going to be about Al Gore? I like in the third graph when blogger Andrew refers to him as Algore, which sounds like an African country. You'd think this blog would still be active as Gore is back into the spotlight with An Inconvenient Truth. He was even on the MTV Video Music Awards. Isn't that worthy of a fucking post, Andy? Just plan on updating every two and a half years. You've got time for that, don't you?
www.scatteredshots.blogspot.com
Another conservative political blog, albeit with a little LiveJournal action mixed in. POLITICAL_JUNKIE_N_SC, I'm sorry but I couldn't even get through the entirety of your first and only post. And I guess since I'm only the second person to view your profile it doesn't matter, but Be Cool is not acceptable to list as one of your favorite movies.
www.scattershooting.blogspot.com
Glen Jarboe claims in his profile that he "wants to do lots of things" during his retirement. Apparently, keeping up with a blog is not one of them. The rare 60-year-old blogger couldn't even muster up enough material for an actual first post. All it says is "First Test Post." However, he did get four comments on this test post, and two other bloggers found it to be "inquisitive." Glen, you're getting a positive response, why stop now?
www.scatter.blogspot.com
By this time I was getting pretty desperate/pissed off. Way back in 2001, Andrew Robinson decided to start this thing called a "blog." It was like a journal that you could keep online, and your friends could read it, too. Everyone thought he was crazy, but he said he wouldn't stop until everyone was reading his "blog." Unfortunately, Andrew died on June 12, 2001, and he was never able to make that second post. You can probably read about it here.
http://www.musicandvideo.blogspot.com/
And here is my previous blog, which I only managed to make one post on. I'll cast stones, but I'll throw them right back at myself as well.
But seriously, Music+Video? That first post showed promise, no?
Since everyone has at least one blog, all of my first choices were taken. But it's not like they were being put to good use; they were a waste of space with most having only an initial post.
Let's give these blogs that took my names the attention they don't deserve, shall we?
www.scattershot.blogspot.com
I guess this blog is call "Weird Al." Was it all going to be about Al Gore? I like in the third graph when blogger Andrew refers to him as Algore, which sounds like an African country. You'd think this blog would still be active as Gore is back into the spotlight with An Inconvenient Truth. He was even on the MTV Video Music Awards. Isn't that worthy of a fucking post, Andy? Just plan on updating every two and a half years. You've got time for that, don't you?
www.scatteredshots.blogspot.com
Another conservative political blog, albeit with a little LiveJournal action mixed in. POLITICAL_JUNKIE_N_SC, I'm sorry but I couldn't even get through the entirety of your first and only post. And I guess since I'm only the second person to view your profile it doesn't matter, but Be Cool is not acceptable to list as one of your favorite movies.
www.scattershooting.blogspot.com
Glen Jarboe claims in his profile that he "wants to do lots of things" during his retirement. Apparently, keeping up with a blog is not one of them. The rare 60-year-old blogger couldn't even muster up enough material for an actual first post. All it says is "First Test Post." However, he did get four comments on this test post, and two other bloggers found it to be "inquisitive." Glen, you're getting a positive response, why stop now?
www.scatter.blogspot.com
By this time I was getting pretty desperate/pissed off. Way back in 2001, Andrew Robinson decided to start this thing called a "blog." It was like a journal that you could keep online, and your friends could read it, too. Everyone thought he was crazy, but he said he wouldn't stop until everyone was reading his "blog." Unfortunately, Andrew died on June 12, 2001, and he was never able to make that second post. You can probably read about it here.
http://www.musicandvideo.blogspot.com/
And here is my previous blog, which I only managed to make one post on. I'll cast stones, but I'll throw them right back at myself as well.
But seriously, Music+Video? That first post showed promise, no?
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